Friday, August 25, 2006

What I learned about myself today......

Today was just awful - awful! It started out quite well, good hair, a great starbucks caramel macchiato, then somewhere womehow it turned terribly terribly wrong.
First I got a very hateful email from a certain someone whom I will not share the name - let's just say it was not very flattering and I don't think I quite deserved it. Afterwards I had almost eveyone in my new office ask me questions about myself. Which in itself isn't too bad, they do need to get to know me as I will be working with them for quite some time. However it was the nature of the questions that really wasn't all that fun - but I'm sure they didn't intend it to be that way. Anyways, almsot everyone asked me the dreaded "do you have a boyfriend?" question. Why? Why? Why does this matter??????? Plus their reactions didn't help - they basically told me not to worry that I would find someone. After that email this was not the thing to be asking me. Furthermore my lunch leaked a bit and made a mess in my lunch kit - gross!

So the day progressed, I finished job #1 and drove to job #2. The traffic was not so bad and I thought my day was getting better. I was sooooo wrong!!! the worst was yet to come. I arrived at work and was putting my purse in the lunch room where Dr.M was eating her dinner and staring at me in a weird way. After I told her about the gorgeous 1965 red mustang convertible with the 3 really cute guys in it she proceeded to ask me in a very quiet and sympathetic voice if
"Linda - did you break off your engagement?"
to which I replied (a little stunned) - "Well, sort of yes"
and she said "Are you okay?"
and I said rather quickly, "No, I'm not, but that doesn't really matter... " (what the hell else was I suppose to say????)
and she replied - "I'm really sorry to bring it up..." which I thought to myself - well then why the hell did you?
and I promptly left the room.

Fighting the overwhelming urge to break into a fit of sobs at work I resumed the duties of an optometric assistant and continued on with my shift. Then in conversation with Steve, who is a guy I work with, I mentioned the nasty email I received that morning and he replied (his exact words I swear!)

"Well, maybe he just dates skinny girls!"

HMMMMM - then he proceeded to stick his foot further into his mouth and insulted me a bit more - now I know he wasn't TRYING to be mean or malicious, it just sounded that way.
After listening to his tyrade and after closing my mouth, which had dropped to the floor with his comment, I suggested that he replace the word skinny with something else as it was what was insulting, he replies

"well Linda you are an attractive girl" - getting better - however, his next comment was not a good follow up.... he said and I quote "I guess you are average"

If there was ever a day in which transpired made me want to slit my wrists - it would be this day. Now I am sitting here watching sad and terrible music videos after missing almost the whole episode of Grey's Anatomy and feeling quite sad with myself.

Let's recap shall we...I learned that I am a) not very nice (according to the email), b) a pathetic loser without a boyfriend c) also sad and pitiful because my 10 year relationship / engagement has fallen apart and finally d) average and not skinny

Why don't I drink more? I desperately need to start I think.

9 comments:

carino_girl said...

Oh Linda!! I won't patronize you and ask you...'are you ok'? but I will thank you for the absolutely good news you left me on my voicemail. whenever, I have my fanta it reminds me of our trip.....ahhh Europe...happy thoughts!!....lots and lots and lots of happy thoughts for Linda!!!

And remember the whole broken engagement WASN'T YOUR FAULT...just because the weasley little cheating bastard couldn't think with the correct brain...is NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!! And to try to turn the tables and make something....anything.....out to be your fault...to make you out to be the 'bad guy' is despicable!!! Just because it's easier for some people to be childish and selfish and inconsiderate...is NOT YOUR FAULT!!! I think the perfect example is when you were sitting at the hospital with his sick mother...where was he? I don't care how difficult the situation was...I would have been there for my mother...even if it meant walking over burning coals to get there!!! Shame!!! Shame!! Shame!!

OK...I have to stop...I would continue to berate him but it would mean I would be stooping to his level and I can't possibly go that low...wonder what the 'view' from down there is like.

I have just one thing to ask you...and you can agree or disagree...it's all ok with me...but Linda isn't it time for you to 'sever the umbilical cord'?

D

Lulu said...

thank you for such a nice message, I really do love all the support, but the email wasn't from him.....

Lulu said...

you are such a darling - I Love ya lots and lots - lets have another girl party....I'll see if I can find a movie - or maybe we can pull out our beloved Mr. Darcy for Eleni?

Rae said...

Hey Linda,
In truth that was quite a day, but let me say this, people ask about significant others because that is often how our society defines and classes people - particularly women, but it's not necessarily a bad thing for your new co-workers to know you're single, it's a great opportunity to meet new people -I'm sure many of them have cute, single friends!
In terms of the other co-workers, it's always uncomfortable to check with someone after a break-up when you're a little out of the loop, but at least it prevents a major slip-up later on, right? And Steve - he's just a blind ass is what his problem is. There are far too many men out there who haven't learned what a truly beautiful woman is or how to recognize natural beauty, radiance, grace and charm - all qualities you embody to a T and which really set you apart, and WELL beyond "average".
Despite the frustration of the day, I hope you don't let it get you down too much and I just might know something that will cheer you up a bit... next weekend is the Highland Games, care to join me for some caber tossing and men in kilts???

K said...

trying not to make light of the crappy day but to make you laugh a little...hey, at least no one called you stupid right? i know i'd rather be called fat and average than be called stupid.

i hope tomorrow is better.

Lulu said...

rae - thank you for the lovely message and furhtermore - hell yes I would to accompany you to admire all the Jamie's - I'll call you to set it up....

Lulu said...

K - you are a dear, love you lots and I agree, stupid is most likely the most insulting...I prize my intelligence and I'm not afraid to admit it!

Devo said...

Sometimes I say dumb things, Liz would definitely agree with me on that one. I would never tell someone they're just average. Since I know you, albeit I haven't seen you in oh 7 years or so, I'm pretty sure you're still an attractive girl.

Lulu said...

well I think almost everyone says stupid things once and a while, the person in question just couldn't stop.... but I do thank you for the compliment...