Thursday, February 25, 2010

New Security Threats

My MBFF sent this to me the other day... I shared it around the office, we all laughed, now it's your turn


The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards" They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the frontline in the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.

New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "Shit, I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Two more escalation levels remain, "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

Monday, February 22, 2010


Last night on my drive back to base I was flipping through the radio stations and caught the tail end of this song... and now it's stuck in my head... Ridiculous!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Today's Motivation

I've been chillin' at the in-laws this weekend... as I said on facebook, it is BLISS being off base... Not that the base isn't a happening place (oh boy it is!) but eating at the mess, hanging in my room, and at the gym doesn't make for a happy Linda. She needs to spread her wings and see some non-military folk every once and a while so off I drive to my in-laws. Life here is SOOO nice... they have real food, and a dog :) and a whole house that I can lounge around in. Plus, they take me on outings to visit the extended in-law family... AWESOME! (I'm being serious, my in-laws - all the extended in-laws included - are amazing and lovely and everything fantastic) YAY!
Anyhoo, I've been able to run around a neighbourhood in the out of doors which is a welcome change to the treadmill at the base gym (although it is nice that I can watch the Olympics while running) . But I digress, the actual reason for this post is because I saw this over on Happy Go Lucky Alex, and it made me laugh... well done!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Favourite Olympic Commercial

Of course this is my favourite, it's about hockey!


Monday, February 1, 2010

New Toy

See how your neighbourhood ranks...